I can figure out a lot of things, like why alternatively-fueled cars are way too expensive for the average consumer. But one thing that I just can't figure out is why America seems to have a general animosity toward frozen dinners.

I don't know how many times I've seen a friend slap together the heels of a loaf of bread around the last scrapings of the peanut butter jar, or maybe reheat a scoop out of a cavernous bowl of beans and rice prepared days ahead, or even crunch away at uncooked cake of ramen noodles, with some self-satisfied look upon his or her face, followed by the words: "At least I'm not eating a frozen dinner!"

What's the cause of this distaste? I'm starting to get worried because, after four months of being on my own, I still kind of like unwrapping a frozen dinner, heating it up, and, well, eating it. Is this just some honeymoon phase that's going to end with me purging the freezer in tears, wondering why I ever invested so much of my time and effort in neatly stacking my frozen dinner boxes on the right side of my tiny freezer? Am I going to learn something that I didn't want to know--like some strange preservative that's only found in frozen dinners, but will ultimately cause me to go bald?

So far, I'm enjoying them. And I live unscathed.

There are distinct benefits as well:
1) Each brand seems to have some sort of chef behind the whole line of frozen dinners. These chefs have most definitely passed up offers to work at all the finest restaraunts in order to keep the entire nation's dining needs in mind. I am certainly grateful. Lean Cuisine seems to have found a French chef, no less (well, at least his name seems French). Weight Watcher's Smart Ones has gone the more beaurocratic route and attributes their line to "our team of chefs". Healthy Choice has a dietician I believe. I mean, how can you get this kind of professional help when you're cooking all your meals from scratch?
2) The portions are reasonable. There's no 5 pound bowl of pasta. There are no leftovers tempting me to have seconds. No, there's just this rather reasonable portion, sitting there, wating for me to eat and be satisfied. I'm usually satisfied with the portions about 60 percent of the time.
3) Okay, about 40 percent of the time.
4) I don't have to cook.
5) Did I mention that I don't have to cook?

So, I'm starting now in reversing the nation's animosity toward prepared frozen dinners. Won't you help in the fight?

So I finally rented and watched Todd Solondz's Storytelling. I had previously enjoyed "Welcome to the Dollhouse" and really, really liked "Happiness" (some of my favorite lines of all time come from "Happiness").

Maybe I hyped it up too much before watching. Maybe I shouldn't have taken a friend's words to heart. Either way, besides the mostly above standard acting/direction/titles/music, the movie's writing left me with a big "Ummmmm?"

Am I supposed to dig past the obvious stereotypes (or maybe archtypes) portrayed in the movie? Should I be looking for a deeper sense of humanity in the characters? Is this a lesson in complete thematic restraint? Am I supposed to feel really bad about even asking these questions when it makes me look like the bitchy writer girl the movie obviously makes fun of?

Throw me a bone, please!

The only moment that the movie really challenged me was in the fact that the child of a loveless family (or at least a family that shows a distinct lack of concern) wants to be a talk show host. Why wouldn't a throwaway child want to be listened to and adored?

Juan was right--at least this movie gives a perfect example of why you gotta get out of writing workshops every once in awhile...and it's an actual scene that does so...not the quality of the script. Of course, the quality I'm speaking of is compared to Solondz's other work...my scripts compared to this one look rather anemic and, well, crap. =) But at least they have a beginning, middle, and end.

Although my current consumption of so-called "Christian" music is pitiful compared to my teen years, I do find a few jewels here and there amongst the swill that Christian marketers expect consumers to buy.

Okay, that may be harsh. But I have strong feelings about this. Where are the days of Fanny Crosby or even, let's say, the 1970s, when secular music publishers scrambled for the newest hymn to publish with just as much voracity as the pop standard? Christian song writers had a little bit more freedom from the fickle taste of the general market and could offer uncompromising takes on the world. Every year, the Christian music genre gets a little bit less Fanny Crosby (even Crosby, Stills, and Nash for that matter) and a lot more Britney and Christian song writers are given less artistic room to navigate.

A lot of my blog readers are probably expecting something about Sarah Masen, a woman who's music I'd recommend to anyone, but I think she's had enough horn-tooting on my page. =)

No, I'm more interested in sharing something quite wonderful about a woman named Nichole Nordeman, a great songwriter and vocalist who just so happens to have her music marketed in the Christian genre. Not only does she have a great voice, emotive and enough irregularity in phrasing to stand out beyond cookie-cutter she-poppers, but she also has found a way to be uncompromising in message...a quality sorely lacking in much of what can only be found at your local Christian retail outlets.

Above all, her song "Mercies New" does something that Christian songwriters have stayed away from for, oh say, 100 years--examine the possibility of a holy God making his creation pay for disobedience. I can't say that I've ever heard a Christian song, much less an ancient hymn from church, with lines like:

So I would understand if You were out of patience
And I would understand if I was out of chances...

So I would understand if You would make me pay,
And I would understand lying in the bed I made again...

What happened to "Positive Hits"? God's righteous judgement isn't exactly the best topic for 4pm-6pm "Drive time".

Lest you think the song is about God bashing people around, the chorus resolves the issue:

But Your mercies are new every morning
So let me wake with the dawn
And when the music is through, or so it seems to be
Let me sing a new song
Old things gone...
Every day it's true, You make all your mercies new

There might be a reason that everyone thinks Christian music is too candycoated...not too many people would be willing to show God's mercy by comparing it to the inaliable right God has to smack us around. What is mercy if there's no moment of relenting?

And so, I have to give a big "bravo" to Ms. Nordeman. Not too many singer/songwriters could turn my "ironing time" into "church time."

A big thanks to all my athiest/agnostic friends for letting me get a little churchy on yo ass. =)