So, the Oscars were officially a stink fest. And I'll tell you why:
1) Chris Rock does not translate well to censored television. Sure, his comedy works at 1am on Comedy Central when they play it uncut, but watching him try to be brash and condemning of big Hollywood while playing their game and wearing a tux was beneath the audience and, honestly, beneath Chris Rock. What Billy Crystal did was satirical. What Chris Rock was expected to do was just plain uncomfortable.
2) What a somber year for Hollywood movies! And is our taste really THAT morose? Two of the biggest movie winners of the night had story lines that focused on the right to die (!). Yeah, it's a real fun-fest in Hollywood.
3) What happened to the stars? Sure, Emmy Rossum is good, but where was Nicole Kidman? Or maybe Harrison Ford, even. Instead, we get Pierce Brosnan with a sore throat.
4) Why the format changes? I see no reason to make the makeup people feel any less worthy of an Oscar than they already feel. To give them their Oscar while they're sitting in the audience is clunky etiquette and just a bit disrespectful. All the rule changes made the announcers look like they were little catholic children suddenly forced to usher a Mass.
I couldn't have pressed the fast forward button more on the TiVo. Too bad I was caught up with real time.